Focus Confidence Momentum

As a coach my job is to get my clients doing more of the right stuff and less of the wrong. We figure out what the right stuff is after we clarify goals. The right stuff is a list of the kinds of things a person will do to reach their goals. From that list a shorter list of actual tactics is chosen to focus on and then the coaching begins. There’s a lot of work that goes into staying on track with the right stuff, which makes the coaching interesting.

Even though, almost everyone reading this doesn’t have a coach; many of you have goals, many have strategies and some have a short list of actions you focus on, all of you are susceptible to Self Sabotage, that is, spending time poorly.

There are four steps to avoid Self Sabotage.

1) Don’t follow rules that have lost their meaning. I regularly hear from people who can’t and don’t delegate, often following the rule that the only way a job gets done well is to do it yourself. As your life expands, to avoid self sabotage, the better thing is to enlist reliable resources you will delegate to.

2) Learn to ask nicely. Don’t you just envy people who can get other people to do things for them. The secret to doing this is to ask in a nice way and then have a next step if you hear no. Some next steps are; a] patience: you may have to wait for the person you’ve asked to schedule the thing you’ve asked them to do, b] negotiate: you may have to compromise on your ideal response; c] creativity: you may have to figure a way to make your request work for the person you are asking; d] alternatives: you may be asking the wrong person and it may be easier to find another person to ask than to get your first choice to do your bidding. e] explain the big picture to gain an understanding of why your request is important or urgent. [Thanks to my friend John Schram for this last point].

3] Stop spending time with Suspects. Suspects are people who you ‘suspect’ may be a satisfying relationship to cultivate. The chances are you already know many Prospects who you ‘know’ will be important to you if you cultivate them further. Make a new list of those Prospects and work on those relationships rather than those who are only suspects.

4] Plan every year, every month, every week and every day. This helps you to avoid everything that throws you off course to meeting your goals. When you plan, plan, plan you can focus, focus, focus. A plan in its simplest form is a list of the things you are reminding yourself you want to do in the period being planned. [My plan for today included writing this next edition of this e-newsletter.]