I got a query from a writer to get some quotes about rapport. Here’s what I wrote back.
The way to think about rapport is as an investment. The more one invests in building rapport the more progress they can make in a relationship. As a coach I know that the more I can build rapport with my clients the easier it will be for them to learn about and accept what they need to do to move towards their goals. With less rapport every step is more burdensome. I often default to try to build rapport when there is some barrier.
A question I use at the beginning of every coaching relationship is to ask ‘What will be different in three years when you’ve achieved satisfaction?’ While the goal of the coaching is to create the differences the answers to the question really help me to know a great deal about where my client is now and what their mission is.
Questions aimed at building rapport. All are open ended. That is they can’t be answer with yes or no and all include the word ‘you’.
Can you unpack that idea for me?
Why did you do that?
What makes that upsetting for you?
How did you arrive at that conclusion?
What was that like for you?
